I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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