Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We just shotgunned beers for America
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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