He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
