I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
