i wish starbucks made bloody marys
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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