Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
