Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
These tits shall not be calmed
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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