Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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