Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize