how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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