I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
