Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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