Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
whose parrot is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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