she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
