nutella sex= disaster
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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