Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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