But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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