Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
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A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
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ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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