She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
