Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
