Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I checked into jail on foursquare
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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