thus making me awesome and them whores
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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