Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
