How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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