I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
