i already hear my dad disowning me
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
