If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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