she woke up with a sticky ear
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
