About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
BRING THE BAGELS
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
