Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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