Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
