You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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