Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
