Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
