You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
