i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
