i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
