i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
