You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
