There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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