Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
