Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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