That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
