'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize