There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
