I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize