oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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