dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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