so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize
