she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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