I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
