i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
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Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
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I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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