Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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