i think my tv is drunk
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
