Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
