My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
