A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
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